lamenotlame

Talking to a guy at hipstery dance club, I let loose my theories on how and why DJs are bullshit. Thats when he mentions he is one of the house DJs.
how do I manage to repeatedly do this.
So calling bullshit on DJs is nothing groundbreaking. But later I got to thinking about how they are necessary as icons in the religion of cool. Exclusion is like tenet number one in the religion of cool, and DJs are all over that
I was about 5 gins deep when I was thinking about this, so I thought I was fucking brilliant.
oh and then there was the laaaaame hipster whose loft we ended up at. After legitimizing himself by bringing up 'indie classic' bands and some obscure but totally irrelevant tidbits on them, the height of his ceilings (14ft), his well paying job and desire to switch into something more "meaningful" ... he brings up his friend who has a degree in philosophy and policy analysis. Dude found him really intense to hang out with because this degree apparently gives the guy a handle on the entire structure of knowledge. loosely quoted:
"its like, he knows the policies on thought AND legal, real stuff"
So guy was a little stupid, and a lot desperate to belong to something. My distain turned to pity when I found out he was not 22 (the max. age at which those things are maybe still a little understandable) but 28 (oh buddy).
Oh but the evening really was great, dancing was done, fun was had.

so I ran into this guy from the past, for the second time in as many days. Dude would make life a whole lot more comfortable if he figured out that, like his feelings for me, I am NOT into him.
So in the interest of having a more effective personal filter, I didn't say that (him being with a girl solidified that decision) ... but I want to know for the next time I run into him (which I will. good lord you can't disappear in Vic)... would it be lame to just lay it out there? "hey man, just so you know, I don't have a thing for you, so let's move on". I could see that making things much worse, but right now it seems like a good idea

there is still a mark from the steam burn.
Im painting a design in my mom's built in shrine area- its a hutch type thing, partially framed off with driftwood. I hope it doesn't turn out like crap, and I hope that my painting and art isn't/won't be forever limited to the "good enough for parents to hang on the wall" quality level.
She put a couple of my Fat Lady watercolours on her wall- their lameness embarrasses me.
Just need to keep working, keep improving

the scene:this morning, making coffee, sans bra
I leaned over the pot in which my mom was steaming her christmas pudding, and I got a steam burn ON MY NIPPLE
fucking ow

So last night I went to a winter solstice party. Good times, a lot of familiar faces from waaay back.
Erica dared me to smell the random teacup of yellow liquid on the ground. For her- anything to be cool. luckily it was only whiskey.
SO some drunk guy tripped over the 'garbage corner' and to save face, kept kicking it about. lame. Then some girl actually says: "WOAH, are you an anarchist or just a fool?!"
Her and I would later have what I would describe as the worlds most awkward party conversation... and it WASNT my doing. it was all her man! woo!
OH! some guy who heard this anarchist remark started saying things in a stodgy voice " Oh, well I am a right wing 'keep it as it is-ist' I like the old guard". which I found really ridiculous until I realized that the layer of sarcasm was actually two deep, and he was making fun of us (the liberal hippy set of which I cannot extract myself) making fun of conservatives. So then it was funny- that is, I approved.

God I love hanging out with Erica. She is terribly funny and she laughs when I am trying to be funny. Also, she knows how to down a beer. Usually I have to constantly slow down my beer drinking pace so I'm not drinking 80% of the pitcher. Not so with Erica. and she errs on the side of another. good call.
On a much more horrible note, we saw a fight break out (which I am ashamed to say I initially wooped and hollered at) which ended in one of the guys lying unconcious in the middle of the street. It was horrifying.
moving on.
I still have this paper to finish- due tomorrow. fuck man, this is supposed to be a work free time

This town is different in the winter.

Back home for the holidaze. Time to kick back and do nothing for a while. Didn't have time to make special cookies, fuck, they always make the trips to big box stores a lot more entertaining/bearable.

why oh why did I leave the house? Every minute I delay my return is another increment of horror added to my walk home.
And I am way too selfish to go bring a coffee to my Kazak hot dog stand man, on this, Kazakhstan National Independence Day. It would mean and extra block of walking. An extra block is a world away. I can't even see that far.
What a miserable day to be in a hot dog stand.
shit

I didn't now snow storms could involve thunder?

From the Environment Canada website:
" Copious amounts of snow as well as strong winds causing blowing snow are expected. Freezing rain is also possible [...] Ice pellets are also quite possible."

From the Environment Canada website:
" Copious amounts of snow as well as strong winds causing blowing snow are expected. Freezing rain is also possible [...] Ice pellets are also quite possible."
"A near-crippling snow storm"
The use of the word copious is like the infamous time I got the doctors note that described my food poisoning induced diarrhea as "violent"; sure its true, but isn't that rubbing salt in the wounds, just a little?

So the most enigmatic roommate at my new place keeps getting packages in the mail of varying sizes, shapes and weights. They are always labeled "socks" for the international post thing, but they are most definitely not socks.
hmm. I prefer not to ask, as the answer to what they are is sure to be much duller than the scenarios I have conjured up.
Last night in a discussion on something completely different, I somehow wrote off NASA as a waste in less than one sentence. Not 5 minutes later, I ask my friend what his parents do for a living. OH, a rocket scientist for NASA you say? Life is a path that takes me from one awkward moment to another.

Sure, the only constant is change, but a few things manage to remain the same-
vitamins are always best swallowed with a gulp of beer or wine
Dylan is always best listened to alone

I am mystified and horrified at how incredibly social awkward I can be at moments.
The other day I saw an acquaintance at a party, where I accidentally interrupted his flirting with a girl to blab about nothing. no big deal. Ok, he is also my neighbour, and last night I saw him sitting on his porch, with possibly the same girl. Even though I KNOW I know it, I hesitated a second on his name (fuck all y'alls who have two first-name names). I stopped in my tracks, and said:
"Hey...how you doing?"
he stopped he talking to the girl, gave a polite nod and quiet hey.
Me: "I pass by here on my way home and I always look in your window. I often see you sitting on your bed, reading."
he doesn't care, but he is a sweet guy. mumbles an "oh" or "yeah" or "hmm"
I sense its time to leave, so what do I say?
"ok, well, see ya. I guess I'll continue spying on you".
pretty much silence on their end.
I immediately mumble "sorry" sorry for interrupting. sorry for the horrible attempt at polite conversation gone wrong.
The 'sorry' as I walked off was probably the height of the awkwardness, but lucky me also got to stand on my porch, three doors down and spend two minutes fumbling for my keys, while we all pretended I wasn't there. Them waiting to be able to give each other a look and say "what the fuck was that"
I hope this conveys how truly uncomfortable the whole thing was.

We are going to ride away together. Where the beer flows like wine.
Sometimes, my dad used to drive me to school on his motorcycle. I felt like hot shit carrying that helmet around, hooking on my coat hook (what the fuck are those hallrooms for coats called again??). To store the helmet, he later he added a milk crate attached by bungee cords to the back of the bike. less cool

Got drunk last night. Not the best of ideas. study study study today. Slowly though, as everything is a little off kilter, a little queasy and drained. Or maybe its just me. miserable.

Overheard on Campus:
Guy: I don't want to go to a club, I want to go to a pub
Girl: I want to go to a club, I want to go dancing.
Girl: I love dancing
Guy: unsure look
Girl: It's IN my facebook profile!

erica!! This is the only way I can think of getting in touch with you! quit facebook?!? as;3gjh
So I got your email, and I immediately replied, only to have a nasty replying from Hotmail saying that delivery failed PERMANENTLY. AHHHH
"A block has been placed against your IP address because we have received complaints concerning mail coming from that IP address."
oh no!
ohhh. it might be because I am using campus internet. I will try when I get home (hours away)

This is a real scientific paper. hehe. poo

Consider this one point for the Racoon side in my ongoing battle of who is more awesome:
Skunks or Racoons.

I'm not ageist (yes I am- just seeing old people frequently gives me a horrible depressive sinking feeling) but I think a good indicator for when it is time to stop wearing "shimmer" is when you have to start dealing with it clumping up in your crows feet. Dig?

Flavoured coffees (Hazelnut, French Vanilla etc) are the Zinfandel of the coffee world

Keeping your zoomers and your pens in the same case yields a high possibility for uncomfortable moments, particularly if you use said pens for a midterm. I'd venture that this applies for final exams too.

Good Fucking Times

shiiit son, I found that guy I have been talking about for years! The one who built his own island! It is even more interesting than I remember! This clip is from 1999- The Ripleys Believe it or Not TV, and though I thought I heard of this guy before then... maybe not.
But Ripleys. Oh Dean Cain. What can I say about you that hasnt already been said or implied about Billy Crystal (and then adjusted to about 2 degrees lamer)
It is too bad about the horrible writing and editing of this show (please no more rapid cuts to emphasize how "X-treme" it is). Actually, now that I think about it, most of the stories were pretty inane too. We have internet memes to take care of that niche now.
I used to love the Ripley's books.
I am a little uncomfortable about the possibility that the TV version, complete with Dean Cain, was a key player in one of my landmark life moments. I'll get over it. I'll just think of how awesome Island guy is.
PS- I know what can be said about Dean Cain- According to his IMDB page, he was in an episode of "Wild on..." ahaha, I would pay up to 5$ to see that episode.

So the house party I went to last night turned out to be awesome. Low expectations can make for pleasant surprises.
-I ran into the girl who can't smell! YES! I had so many questions for her. Too bad she didnt arrive until AFTER the Biggest Hit Ever- complete with a rare coughing fit. I suspect only I care about her answers to my questions. moving on
-There was this hilarious guy that literally only spoke in zingers. Some girl (possibly his gf?) who lived there, went on facebook at one point. His reaction- "You are social networking at a party?! how about opening your mouth and talking! theres a social network!" ok, maybe you had to be there and be baked.
-Some guy that I see on campus quite frequently but never talk to was there. He was wearing THE outfit- when he wears it, he is the fucking spitting image of Billy Crystal with a beard circa 1989ish. Curly hair, scruffy beard. Plaid button up shirt. Tan Linen jacket, stiff jeans.
So I had that moment that I always have, where I am on the edge of saying something, and where most people would be have their personal filter tell them" do not proceed, high risk of offending", my personal filter goes "proceed, they will totally get what you are trying to say"
and I did proceed. I told him how exactly he looked like Billy Crystal. He was a little (a lot) taken aback. He said "honestly, I don't know how to take that". After telling him I wasn't sure either, I realized that if I had any hope of making this a pleasant talk rather than an horribly awkward moment, it had to be Billy Crystal in a good way. And frankly, I think it was. I told him (and I mean it), his look made me reconsider Billy Crystal. Billy Crystal redux.
Guy was a sport, well versed in social graces, and went along with it. He buried his creeped out, slightly offended reaction beneath an affable, light hearted banter, which I think he at least partially meant. Good for him, cause there is no pretending we don't know each other when we cross paths on campus.
Again, this was after "Biggest Hit Ever". I think.

Unrelated: I recently decided once and for all that I definitely have an abnormally strong sense of smell. S. (not that S) said that this was a blessing and a curse, but in the spirit of complaining about all things, I find it mostly to be a curse.
On the other hand, a few weeks ago I met a girl that had no sense of smell! she claimed to be able to taste just fine, but who knows what her sense of taste is compared to the average person. I have never met someone like this- she simply has never been able to smell! I'd rather not have that.
pros: never have to smell farts and poops, or basically anything bad. burned the popcorn? meh. toss in another bag, forget about the horrid smell that will linger for hours. I would never have had to sandbag the bottom of my door while my mom was cooking the turkey neck from christmas dinner. I swear the smell went STRAIGHT to my room and just sat there.
cons: never get to smell your own brand! never know if you have bad breath or b.o. and here is a biggie: what about those really basal associations we have with scent? you know when you smell a perfume, or mix of odours, and it just takes you back, so immediately to another time and place, and all the feelings associated with it. Oh man, none of that?
buuut....I would find my new place a lot more tolerable. but how would I ever know if the last third of my soy milk is still good. I wouldn't!! wow, I would have so little control.
not realizing you stepped in dog shit- pro or con?

So I moved yesterday. This morning I woke up to the wonderful sight of natural light. Oh glorious window, link to the world, promise of more, possibility of escape, I have missed you. There is a 3 legged cat living in the hoise, and though it is much more tolerable than the kitten I was living with before, I really think I hate cats. Well, their odour at least. Indoor cats. My family cat shat outside thank god. trays of shit really skeeve me out.

Im not sure what it is in perfume that gives you (me) such a headache when I am forced to smell it in high concentration, but what I really want to know is how the wearer can be without even a bit of the head splitting pain I am in.
Im with my new bestie, the library study room. A little while back a girl and her perfume came in and sat across from me at the long wooden table. It is a heavy,thickly sweet smell- I recognize it, can't quite put my finger on the brand- it might be a Chanel. It is definitely 50$/oz or more,. My eyes even feel it. People have actually left the room.
Now girl, I am in this study room almost EVERYDAY. You should ask around- I'm probably "that girl" by now. Do NOT come in here and ruin a good thing.
Since she has done me this injustice, I have free reign to judge. She is uncomfortably bony. Talking in an equally feeble voice on her phone for half an hour (not that I would normally care, but for godsakes go outside), I'm shocked at how quiet she is without actually breaking into whisper talk. The apple she has been nursing for the past hour is still not finished.
I'm sitting across the room now, but it is clear that I need to get out of here. I am getting that shooting pain at the base of my neck. I've tried getting used to the smell, but it hangs thick.
So, questions I'd really like to get to the bottom of:
-How does the wearer stand it?
-How can the wearer be so unaware?
-How can you tell someone that they are physically hurting those around them. with smell
-how does a smell produce a headache? Is this doing damage?
-If you get used to the smell, is it still doing the same things to you?
-Seriously, how can she not realize it?

I just remembered that way back in first year, I was actually nervous to go to the erowid website, for fear that its appearance on my browser history would incriminate me! haha. how silly, past me. Granted, I had just moved out of my parents house, and was used to the whole family computer, shared history thing, and I was living in res, using res internet. I think the fact that the shadiest fucks on the floor introduced me to the site in the first place affected my wariness. But really- afraid to go to a drug website? oh how times changed.
Ah the family computer. Once I looked up the internet history on my family computer and found all these searches for "woodies". I knew it was my dad, and I briefly got grossed/weirded the fuck out. Turns out it was these kind of woodies. phew.

There are more of these. Funny.

So I told my buddy, the hot dog stand guy, that it was my birthday, he got all excited and gave me my veggie dog for free, he also gave me a pop, and insisted I take two of his bananas. He even put the veggie dog in a styrofoam container to make it more special.

One good thing about getting fatter is that the old tits swell up real nice like. One bad thing about get fatter is the appearance of muffin top.

Welcome Toronto Winter, have a seat.
So you have arrived. As you know, our relationship has been frosty at best (aren't I a fucking riot). I have been known to say outright that I hate you, but you made it pretty clear my first year here- with your record setting cold and snow in MAY that you had no intention of being friends.
I come to you now winter, partly because this may just end up being my last time with you, but mostly because your buddy fall has been so extra good to me this year. Please don't be an asshole and ruin the good thing we had going.
Go ahead and have a few blustery, wind-tunnel horror, sting your face days. But for god's sake, do it sparingly. Dumps of snow are ok by me by the way. Dumps of any kind are ok by me really.
And please try to wrap it all up by late March? By that time I am really fiending for some green amid the concrete grey and slush brown.
Uh yeah, so thanks.
Oh- be sure to check out the new Micheal Lee-Chin Crystal whatever-its-called wing of the ROM. It's the building that looks like a giant salt crystal, and I think your ice and snow will do some awesome things to that place.
I just decided that that building is a living example of architecture as a tourist grab.

so generally 'cosplay' sorta weirds me out. But Katamari!? I am willing to make a big exception for these guys.
Ok, there is a whole collection of these photos, and it is called something like 'G and S's private photoshoot fantasy night'. The word 'fantasy' puts them back into uncomfortable territory for me, but I am going to pretend I didn't see that part.

I find it just fascinating that:
1) Asparagus makes urine smell
2) Some people can't smell it because they lack some gene necessary in smelling the odourous compound.
3)It seems that actually, everyones urine stinks! but..
4)There actually is some confusion on the topic!
From what I can tell (5 minute internet search), early research found that only some peoples urine smells bad- but these tests were based on personal reports, whereas newer tests got 'perceivers' (those who can smell it) to smell the urine... finding that all of it smelled
Imagine that fucking test.

Ok so The Manitoba license plate motto 'Friendly Manitoba' really is accurate in my limited experience. If I was to list 5 attributes/adjectives for each of the Manitobans I've met (only a few really), 'friendly' would be on every one.
Beautiful British Columbia is perfect too. Both because it is true, and because a BCian will never let anyone forget it (we have an official February ritual of calling all out of province relatives to let them know our daffodils are blooming). Imagine the city of Vancouver in the geography of Toronto. woof, no thanks.
Im not sure what Alberta plates say, but if it is "Texas North" then it too is spot on.
Quebec's Je me souviens (I remember), yep, also right on. 'I dwell' would work too, (let it be noted I am all for the preservation of the francophone identity culture etc etc).
In grade 9ish I did a sock puppet show about the battle of Abraham (to which the license refers)- we changed the words to the Gilligans Island theme... the only line I remember is replacing " a three hour tour" with "a twenty minute war". I DO remember Amy and M and S using the Pocahontas song 'colours of the wind'. They changed the line "have you ever seen the wolf cry to the blue corn moon" to "have you ever seen dead bodies spread across the field" (insert sweeping hand motions). Amy (later named in our yearbook as most likely to become a jewish childrens singer) belted it out like a fucking champ. It still makes me laugh.
POST SCRIPT: that cat picture was the second result (after casper the friendly ghost) in a google image search of 'friendly'

all i can see
Originally uploaded by plastique monkey

The pink poop is a little more mystifying

At first I thought it was neat that this place made their primary 'signage' a fairly ambiguous art piece. Then I thought, "those motherfuckers are forcing people to be like "lets meet at that place, you know, with the dots, just south of dundas.. come on, you totally know it". Then I noticed that they DO have a smalllll sign on the door (poorly designed I might add), and that excused them a little, but I am still not sure.Meanwhile, just down the street, this place gets straight to the point. I like that I know what I am getting by going there. All this and it is still quite aesthetically pleasing. But this place looks closed for business and the other one is most definitely not, so what do I know
Also, something I thought of when looking at these pictures- the other night I saw some guy tagging a doorway with a Sharpie. Those fucking tags are all over the place, but I rarely see someone actually doing it. God, seeing it being done really underlines how lame and pointless it is.

Awesome- A blog of pictures of men who look like lesbians. funny funny stuff. Saw it on Kottke

So I am thinking of doing an independent study, hopefully under the supervision of the Dean of the Faculty of Forestry. This would involve approaching him and submitting a proposal. He is a decent affable fellow, from what I know. What I know consists of meeting him at the Forestry Conference I went to last year, which he probably doesn't remember, even if there wasn't drinking involved. Since would be going out of his way to supervise me, I feel I should to make some kind of personal connection.
So I will obviously bring up our meeting last year, but do I include the part where my friend spilled her beer on him? Would it be endearing or just plain unwise? Right now I am leaning toward using it. I ask because I have a tendency to regret just these sort of things.
It is between him or the charming professor with the voice of a muppet. I'm pretty sure he is also the professor to whom I had the joy of giving the doctors note excusing me from a midterm due to "severe diarrhea".
Choices choices

Oh my god! new parlour game idea! Let's all make models of our neighbourhood characters. Everybody has a few.

Afternoons will be spent painting and lounging in the various pods.
Evenings will be spent experimenting with psychotropic drugs in the main atruim

I love that my parents (well, now just my mom) go to Mexico and camp in their (her) VW. My mom loves music, and she loves it loud. My old man never really got music, he only liked it if you could clearly understand the lyrics. Hell, even when he went to the gym he listened to books on tape (always with the books, him). He did sing the same few lines from a lot of old standards though- it is thanks to him that I love Hank Williams, Loretta Lynn and Patsy Cline. Anyway, after my Dad died, my Mom went out and got an amazing sound system installed in the VW. There is now this ominous looking dial in the centre of the dash that controls the huge subwoofer. People are generally pretty surprised when they pull up beside the VW pulsing with music and find my mom in the drivers seat. She pumps her music driving down the west coast, through the old growth rainforests, the California cliffs, and finally to the arid, cactus lined roads of Mexico, and she is happy. It is with this image that I first knew she'd be ok without my Dad.

Smalltalk coinwash eh? thanks for reminding us just how lame having to use laundromats can be

When I pass this place,I always think of two possibilities for the origin of this name: 1) They wanted to be associated with OJ (Simpson) but even better!!!!JJJJJ 2) The guy who sent the instructions to the sign maker was hungover/narcoleptic, and pressed the J for too long
I've always loved this place. The owner (Francois, I assume) actually wears a beret! I wanted him in the picture, standing outside the door, but no one was in today.

So I got into TWO bike crashes yesterday. First: On my way to Kensington, along St. George, dark and rainy. To begin with, the guy almost hit me turning on to St. George, but I avoided him. Then he drove really slowly behind me- a car behind him honked. He slowly sped up until he was just infront of me (I had my own cycling lane). Then all of a sudden, in a flash, he zoomed into a parking spot, cutting me off. I slammed on my brakes, I twisted and fell. My glasses and travel coffee (in its holder) went flying. The coffee was mostly still in the mug! What a travel mug- a real keeper. My glasses didn’t break. I was wet, my knee and elbow were sore. My bike light stopped working- I didn’t notice until later, so got no money or anything. The guy halfway opened his car door, sat there for a minute obviously sheepish- I was already calling him a fucking asshole. Once he got out of the car, I went off on him. It was 100% his fault. Finally he asked if there was anything he could do. I told him to get a fucking clue and still in shock, I shakily took off.
Met my friend for dinner.
Then, biking East on College, some guy from oncoming traffic turned into the parking lot beside me. There was really no way for either of us to see each other until the last second- it was busy, dark, rainy and my bike light was gone. The rain made it hard to brake, and this time I screamed. Once again I found myself flying through the air and back on the wet pavement. Fell on the same body parts- knee and elbow. Twice in a row- I felt like this HAD to be my fault. But I think it was a little of everything. I was really sullen when the guy got out of his car. I was just in a lot of shock. A junkie hovered around us like a fly- talking nonsense, sometimes about my bike. The guy tried to give me 20 bucks “in case I needed to repair my bike”... I denied it a couple of times, but eventually took his guilt money, and took off.
Yeah, I was really scared on my bike, and sorta of teary and blubberly. I called my friend and she took care of me the rest of the evening with ice, tea, chocolate, pot and company.
This morning I am just fucking sore and bruised all over- particularly my knee (though it doesnt look nearly as cool as I think it should)

Woah is me.

Another interesting element in government agricultural subsidies. Also, I love infographics. Link and Story

1
Originally uploaded by Avi_Abrams

Unrelated-
The guy beside me keeps reading out stupid, unintelligible snippets from his class readings to his friend. The friend is doing her best to act interested but my god it is obvious how irritating and lame he is being.
OH! thought for sure he was gay, now they are holding hands (in the interlocking way even!). So thats why she was making such an effort to care.

I am becoming increasingly concerned over my caffeine intake. I am a cloudy, slow, sulky mess without (a lot of) it. woah is me, unhitching myself from the coffee wagon is going to be a doozy. First, another cup.

So the other night after studying at the library until about 1130 I had to drop off some notes to a friend who lives in a frat. I knew they were having a surprise birthday party involving a keg. As I sat in the library I started thinking about how it might be nice to have a few plastic cups full of crappy beer and shoot the shit with some the 'brothers'.
I got there and the front hall was jammed with tables set up for drinking games galore. Sorority girls lined the stairs watching the excitement. Within 30 seconds of being there some guy runs up to me "PICTURE TIME!" ugh, no thanks- the next morning when you upload your photos and some of the bros gather 'round your computer to see what happened before they passed out, you'll get to the picture of some chick, who the hell is that, some pissed off bitch... I dont want to be that girl. I pointed at some guy chugging behind him and was all "woah, dude is crazy", camera guy was sufficiently distracted.
So I weaved my way up the staircase full of girls giving me the up and down, deciding if I am competition. I went past the dry hump couple on the couch (turns out it was actually just the passed out, shirtless birthday boy and his about-to pass out gf).
I made it to buddies room and then we smoked a bowl on the fire escape (no mj inside whatthefuck) and everything seemed a million times more ridiculous. I still thought I might like a cup of beer- I am craving beer like a motherfucker lately. As I made my way back downstairs though, past the "greatest time of our lives" frat boys and the sorority girls that like their friends to be slightly less pretty than them, Hotel California blasted and I knew it was time to leave.
I guess I'm just left in awe as to how precisely they played their roles. That scene man. If I made it up, wrote it and read it, I would be all "no, way too obvious"

This guy is cool. I am a big fan of the vinyl toys/figurines/art stuff. I want to do it too.

So I ran into an old acquaintance the other day. One of those almost friends- you keep talking of how you should get together, go for a beer. And it never happens, and circumstances change and you lose touch all together. Well anyway, I saw one of those on a sunday or monday midday. She looked good. She lost a lot of weight- not in a "you skinny bitch" way, but in a "you got healthy" way, yah know? So we talked of how we should get together, go for a beer. She was with her (older, 90's rocker) boyfriend, and generally she seemed happy. Happier than when I first knew her.
Something was amiss though, and I didn't put my finger on it until later. She had glitter on her eyelids. not shimmer, but full on glitter. The kind you glue to construction paper. It wasnt tons, but enough. Her boyfriend had traces of glitter too- his was likely the remains of a night out.
How good can you really be doing if glitter is a part of your look.
oh and blah blah... losing weight doesnt necessarily equal looking better.
sorrysorrysorry if you ever read this.
Next thing-
yesterday I bought a sweater, pants and several small canvases at a garage sale across the street. The total was 7.50. I offered 6. She gave me this fucking scoff, repeated back to me.. "6?", hesitated, and coldy accepted.
Lady- ever been to a garage sale? bargaining is the standard. this morning you left the unsold items at the curb, free for the taking.
Who has a garage sale on a wednesday anyway?

playing with the layout. I should learn HTML, if not simply for future job credentials. haha. yeah, thats why I'm not working on my paper- I'm busy planning my future.

Turns out my roommate feels strongly that Voldemort should have been played by David Bowie
le pic

I just wiped at my nose with my jalepeno tainted finger. Then i washed my hands and stuck my fingers up my nose in a very misguided attempt to make it better. Usually my problem comes from sticking my hand down my pants. At this point, im not sure what is worse. This fucking sucks.

Guy 1:"I was getting laid last night I thought that I need more authority in my life, so I thought of the Dalai Lama"
Guy 2:"The Dalai Lama is not authoritative- he believes in peace."

So maybe I should have gone to Ween. nonono. No need to regret, rue, lament. The weekend was decent. Good.
I got hit on by well meaning, but socially skewed grad students- luckily the pressure of that lessened when prettier girls showed up on saturday aft.
It was rainy most of saturday, so minimal hiking, but at least I finally got a chance to do some 'recreational reading'.
Me and Mary Jane(ohmygod I love using that) were a bit of an anomaly for about two thirds of the people there, which frankly always takes me off guard. At one point someone came up to me and said "hey, there is a group of people smoking outside, I thought I should tell you since I know you are into that." Shit man. how did I get to be that girl?
Then there are the ones who bring up the pot stories they have to prove that they are 'down'. except this guys story starts with him eating cookies and ends with him going to the hospital and having to take charcoal. Here is a tip- no matter how much you are freaking out, how fast your heart is beating... this too shall pass. you wont OD on special cookies.

I'm going into into the forest for the weekend. I can't wait. I am even giving up seeing Ween for this weekend. Ween- my favorite band. Fuck, the show better suck- it is at the Docks (lamest venue EVER) so it already has that going against it.

Easy Love by MSTRKRFT
it makes me want to shake it down St. George St. (I love the symmetry of that name) . Leg lifts. Lip pouts. and of course my signature arm fans (what are they called anyway) Everyone will join in too.
So Im sitting on campus. My friend just walked up to me all nervous like, shifty eyes and all- and whispers in my ear: The girl sitting behind you is an undercover cop. I sort of laughed, but he was all serious about it. I talked to him for a minute, and he was all shifty and nervous. He insisted it was true. what is going on.
Today I am getting 65$ for talking to some people about my cell phone provider for 2 hours

Little Red Riding Hood
Originally uploaded by kangaroopaw

sexy

This makes me think of E.
And it makes me laugh.
Happy Birthday dearest Sarin.

So when I got to the library, found that the pen in my pants pocket had leaked- luckily I am wearing old black pants. My cell phone is black, so it only received a purpley sheen on one of the corners. Ink all over my keys isn't an issue i guess (yeah, alot of stuff in my pockets). Somehow the 2 for 1 pizza coupon made it out unharmed. Ink all over my touchpad finger slightly impeded my computing. boo hoo
Anyway- just went to the washroom an hour later to find goddamned black ink all over my leg.
What really gets me is that this is the 4th (fourth!!!!) leaky pen from the same box! Fucking Staples Brand. This is the final straw- they are getting a stern letter.
I bought the box of pens in the first place because I was tired of the mad pen search through every drawer, purse and bag everytime I wanted to play one of my drawing games with a group of people. They all have to be black pens- hate blue pens - and they all have to be ball point OR all nib. All pencil will do in a real pinch. In addition to guaranteeing a uniform Exquisite Corpse, it also saved me from everyone getting all weirded out at how important the uniform pens are to me.
Havent played since school started back up anyway.
The main point here is- Staples is going to hear from me, and they better take my complaint seriously. Im feeling sassy- I going to warn them that if they dont, I will tell my friends, family and associates to avoid ALL staples stores and products. They'll be shaking in their boots when they hear that. oh yeah.

Oh I miss my turtle Hector. I do get to see glimpes of him. He has a new larger tank, to go with his growing self. His nails are so long, he is definitely a boy. S takes very good care of him.
The turtle in the picture was digging a hole- probably to lay her eggs in. It was in the park in Vic. Turtles in the park! I wonder if they are abandoned pets? or several generations removed abandoned? They must hibernate.
My roommate got a kitten. It is cute, duh. But it made me decide once and for all that I am more of a dog person. the fucking thing jumps up and hangs onto my leg. I have red little claw wounds all over my thighs. I like it during those brief moments it is all tuckered out and can barely keep its eyes open.
It is 24degrees celsius out, not a cloud in the sky. End of October. I wrote this before- but Im writing it again cause I mean it:
dear Toronto weather: If you could just go ahead and stay this pleasant I will promise to spread the word on your benevolence and generosity. I wont even mention the whole GW thing. I will know it wasn't the work of fossil fuels, but the result of your caring and listening to me.

Ohmygod- There really are so many chicken bones strewn about the streets of Toronto. E first pointed it out- mitzie always manages to find them. Who are all these people eating drumsticks, thighs, whatever, and then throwing the gnawed-on bones onto the sidewalk?! Seriously. What is with the chicken bones in the streets
The Uni is doing what I can only assume to be a pathetic attempt at homecoming. There are two big rented trucks driving through the streets of campus- one with a marching band on it and one with painted face student council members. One of them directed his loudspeaker at me and either said "New College!" or "We Suck!"... I couldn't hear him very clearly. Now I hear the loudspeakers pumping 'Oh Canada' on the field where the stadium never got built. Go Blues (thats right, our mascot is a colour)
I'm in the library that belongs to all the old money in Toronto. Across the table from me sits a future investment banker/hedge funds specialist, his Financial Times to his right (keeping it politically aligned) and his powerbook to his left. Pink Polo shirt, tousled hair. I don't even know what his dad looks like, but dude looks like his dad, I know it. I'd love to hear his take on me. I bet the word granola would be used.

Middle aged women in lowish powered jobs they don't like (or maybe it is their life they don't like)
Thats the phenomenon- These women who are bitter. From my perspective, particularly bitter toward younger folk. Defensive. They assert what little power their job affords them in a fucking bitchy way. Especially if you work with them.
She loves to remind you that you are doing something the wrong way. You aren't following procedure.
She adopts this authoritative structure as her own, as if she ever had an say in it.
She's the reason I never got to take home the mis-prepared blizzards. Instead they got thrown out.
She lives for procedure- practicality is not the way we do things- it gives power to you, undermines her importance.
She wont turn down the library air conditioner. We don't know what temperature is needed-we don't understand the complicated process of library temperature management.
Ok yeah- that is happening now. She even managed to talk about controlling the humidity for the preservation of books. (not to mention that we are in a separate, bookless room).
Then- You shouldn't even be here anyways with that cup of coffee.
My buddy had to throw it out.
Say what?
And they are always women. Not always middle aged.
I always feel better than them anyway, cause they are fucking curmudgeons! hah, what a word

I nabbed a bottle of diet Pepsi from a room on campus that clearly had just been the site of a meeting of some sort. Wont be buying one of those anytime soon. blech. Cant promise I wont take a free one again though- god I am sucker for free things. In fact, passing up free samples and free appys at various events because they have meat in them is one of my biggest hardships in being vegetarian. The 'various events' are the many receptions, lunches, talks etc I scour around campus specifically for the free food and -if I am really lucky- wine. I joined a facebook group that is supposed to give a heads up about events like this, but it is almost never updated. I figured out other day that most people are probably thinking the same thing- I am not sharing this info with 30 other moochers, it'll totally spoil my scene. Or maybe thats just selfish me.