you know those real estate euphemisms that use words like cozy when the place is small; charming when it's in disrepair; wonderful when there is nothing redeeming. Well another one I've discovered over the years is "perfect for a student" when the place is a pile of shit. Ideal student accommodation= normal people don't bother- you wouldn't live here. surprisingly, my place didn't actually have this on the ad.
Friday at 10:00PM- invited to my friends cottage. leaving in half an hour. take off my going out clothes and war paint, put on the cottage cottons and roll as many good time sticks as I could.
good times were had. The weekend included hiking, climbing down a cliffside rock tunnel to a real life grotto(!), kayaks, a lot of lakeside hot tubbing, devouring a Douglas Coupland book (I love that man) and tons of inebriation. oh and several of the quaintest, most friendly diners I have ever had the pleasure of eating at.
now I'm relaxed, tired and piled with work.
heather is going to visit me in Toronto!
September never looked so good!
There was an infomerical for some diet pill that used to play a lot when I was in high school. They had this little infographic to go along with it showing the little food fat molecules being enrobed and thus not absorbed into the intestine.
The whole thing took place at an outdoor picnic, full of people who had lost weight using the pill. They played volleyball, they smiled, they continued to eat greasy fucking piles of hamburgers and potato salad, and there were more shit eating grins. What they didn't show in the infomercial was the line up of porta potties full of all these people explosively shitting out their meals thanks to the 40 dollar laxative. Fuck! the porta potties on the set of a diet pill infomercial have got to be record-breakingly terrible!
oh wow, I just got back from the Annex, where there was a shooting! I was dancing with headphones through the isles of dominion when it happened but I walked out and CHAOS. The road was closed from Spadina until past Brunswick, tons of police cars. A shooting! in the Annex! The annex is like the Victoria of Toronto. it was outside (or in, dont know) the Brunny (if the annex is victoria, the brunswick house is legends). A lot of confused girls and boys decked out in their brunny wear, not sure what to do next. I'm sure soon enough there'll be a stream of cabs ushering them to Richmond Street. Cantina Charlies or something. I've never been there, but I bet that people who go to Cantina Charlies foam parties also go to the Brunny. oh ho ho how superior I am.
latest google reader ad says:
Vineyard Spam Salad - Combine grapes, spam, pea pods and onions in large bowl.
My question is:
If a person can afford/has the sense to buy grapes and fresh peas, what are the chances of that person also buying spam.
Here is a lame joke I just made up:
You know you're redneck if you eat spam more often than you Delete All Now.
I like when Granola bars are described as 'enrobed' in chocolate.
On Friday some guy in his 50's looked over at me across the street, walking toward him (me: typically fast walking, brown bagged bottle of wine in hand)stopped in his tracks and with a little pause said "A Professional,...would do better". I was already on edge and thanks to being back on the birth control hormone wagon this comment was so startling it almost put me in tears. A wine soaked evening with Alicia quickly fixed that. And what a weird fucking evening it was.
in other news, I am eating a cucumber from RnB farms. I've never eaten a cucumber with so much soul. oh also , it has a diameter of 2.9 inches; maybe I should start buying organic cuces
my skirt has blown up twice this week. embarrassing. Really- try looking cool after that.. it can't be done. Like when you misjudge the height of the ground and half trip. I can't decide whats worse: looking around afterward to see who was watching, or to keep plowing straight ahead. I usually make a loud awkward sound to show that I'm 'in on it', saying "DON'T BE EMBARRASSED FOR ME, I DONT CARE REALLY!"
I thought I was licking off excess chocolate mousse.
but no, it was hydrocortisone cream. I should have looked.
At least it's not as bad as the time I accidentally drank oxyclean. or maybe it is