so the museum yesterday was a bust. after battling and winning against the anti-joint smoking winds, we got the the museum and surprise, holiday afternoon=packed. overwhelming lines. We took off and ran across inner harbour, under dressed and cursing the freezing rain/sleet. first to the wax museum. 12$ to see lame 80's celebrities and royalty for the millionth time... nah. not even the torture chamber was enough to entice. Undersea gardens wasn't a draw either. So we ended up at miniature world; equally outdated, but it aged much better. great fun. Thankfully the exhibits only had poorly secured plexiglass barriers- I managed a good thump against one after getting a little to absorbed in trying to find the working dollhouse toilet (they claimed it worked, but I saw no evidence of such). Another highlight: worlds smallest operational sawmill! it was built by this old forester in his basment (awesome) at a scale of one inch to one foot- the size of a very large pool table. goddamned modern fire regulations prohibit them from actually turning it on anymore. so you get to watch a video of it working instead. laaame.
oh and there was a suspiciously high number of women with short 'no muss, no fuss' hair cuts, sensible shoes and light day packs. all visiting on their own i think. hm.


so the holiday week has been lovely. visits with old time pals. the snow is finally disappearing... today is a perfectly grey, wet, windy west coast winter day.
My days have been filled with job hunting, watching Weeds with my mother, drawing, etc etc. It's lovely, but I'm itching for the next thing.
so in toronto, when i wasn't at the library, most of my posts were made from this desk:

These days, this is generally where the magic happens:

Amy returns to Van tomorrow. This afternoon we are going to smoke a joint and go to the museum. well alright.

I had planned a cozy evening alone with some wine or winter beer or or maybe even a hot toddy. so i braved the outdoors to shovel the sidewalk and make a trip to the liquor store. alas it is CLOSED ON SUNDAY. buh! walking or busing to the next nearest store wasn't an option, so i went and stared at the ocean for a while. I walked home and told myself that I could have just as good of a time without alcohol or drugs. hahaha. no i can't. I just found a replaceable bottle of wine and things are looking up.

this man has so much more vitamin D than me right now

from benjamin roi
video games with headre and byron yesterday. Our evening was cut short by this never ending snow storm.
all plans cancelled today until further ntoice. So Im housesitting, unemployed and out of weed. the day is full of (limited) possibility.
The west coast had better remind me of its charms pretty quick.

future hope

yay! another example of innovative green developments going beyond sketches! It is mixed use (shopping next to houses next to offices) which is pretty standard if you want to get any attention in the urban development world these days.

The design will be one of two centres envisioned for the future new town, a self sufficient city of 77,000 inhabitants located 35 km south of Seoul.
By pushing these rings outwards, every part of the program receives a terrace for outdoor life. Plantations around the terraces with a floor to floor circulation system store water and irrigate the plants.
In each tower a number of voids connect to the atrium providing for light and ventilation and creating semi-public spaces.

via dezeen

from somewhere on this tech site. i forgot where though

oh wow

04 (Abisko Canyon), originally uploaded by 劉穎捷.

AND they have a group!

1) We have 4 speeds and many positions
2) We wear tight pants and tall boots
3) We love getting dirty
4) We know how to ride our mounts
5)We perform well with animals
6) We like to be in control
7) We’ll ride it for hours
8) We know how to handle a big girth
9) We get off easy
10) We're always on top
11) We like it rough
12) We have our legs spread all day long
13) We love using whips
14) Straddling is our natural position
15) We don't mind being bucked around
16) Event riders do it for three days
17) We can ride standing or sitting
18) We wear leather chaps everyday
19) We think the fast ones are the most fun
20) We're used to having hands between our legs
21) If we fall off we get back on and ride harder
P.S. Have you seen the posting trot???!!!
and once more: shudder

i let coke slowly ooze through my backpack and onto my laptop. shiiit.
because I work with/for kensington good old boys, my boss knew of a guy who'd take a look at it, and another guy who'd give me half price parts if it was fried.
buddy cleaned it out and ta-da almost like new!
Im really going to miss working at the centre of the universe (and i dont mean the victoria observatory. I love having a boss that says 'yous guys' and his best friend that repeatedly offered to pour bags of contrete mix down my toilets when i was having landlord troubles.
I'll miss all the kensington stories of family feuds, who wronged who, who gives blow jobs for pocket change, who that drunk guy yelling on the streets is, and most of all
meeting so many people who are going out of their way to live a life they love.
Im not even sure I remember why I'm leaving, but the howling wind and frosty streets refresh my memory.
Last night I went for a little good-bye dinner of lattkes with kt. we finished with fortune cookies, which I was eager to read as my future is currently blank. get this: my fortune cookie contained no fortune! Katie does what she does best and tried to put a positive spin on it, which I wasn't buying- especially when her fortune read something like 'ignorance isn't always bliss'.
for anyone in TO interested that reads this today,Im sure Ill be doing some heavy drinking tonight in the generally college and spadina vicinity. exactly when, where and whom with (GR?) is unclear. oh! Jay Spectre and Run with the Kittens tonight at horseshoe right? hmmm.

before i leaked burrito sauce on my precious precious moleskine.
This would fall under the same category as "why I never buy white clothes" and "toothpaste stains don't count (there's no way I'm creating more laundry before Ive even left the house for the day)"
related: moleskines would probably make it on my list of "Things I Don't want to Covet, but I do, oh I do", that is, IF I had such a list. Chuck Klostermann taught me that Guilty Pleasures are BS. That's right- I peruse Jezebel, I've watched almost every season of America's Next Top Model and the missed seasons were involuntary. oh and goddammit if I don't love aqua

according to their wiki, a lawsuit against them by Mattel prompted a ruling from the judge of "The parties are advised to chill." well alright. i'd like to meet that judge
ps to the world: I moved my flight back- one more weekend in TO!

i just don't see fun times here. actually it makes me think of when Hitchens went and got himself waterboarded
interesting fact: I didn't look up 'apple bobbing' or anything. like a divining rod, my mouse clicked on one of the archives pages of this found photo site... and there I beheld it, and it was good.

A: less than a week before you are moving across the country and three days before a presentation four months worth of independent research work.
ugh. i feel sorry for me

hey world, have you ever bobbed for apples? it seems like such a great seasonal activity, but next thing you know your face is in a tub of cold and gritty spit water. With each failed attempt at biting that stupid apple- water up the nose, jaw aching and jerk friends cheering you on- you realize how miserable it really is to forcibly suffocate yourself. And successful bob or not, after all that you're left with a cold wet face and a mouth full of other peoples spit and snot.
All this harboured hate and I haven't actually done it in years. how about them apples. zing.
anyway. bobbing for apples will now officially go on the list of things I wish I liked. An incomplete look at other things on that list:
-black licorice
-Nick Cave

since we are on the subject, a few things that used to be on the list of 'things i wish i liked', but with a bit of hard work have transitioned to the list of 'things I now like':
-talking to really old people

can't get enough of these. from here

from here

from here
yesterday was my birthday and I turned my favorite number. My imaginary brother was this age for a good 4 years. Better be the best year of my life. OH! and Alicia and Krista BOTH got me a jaw harp! Two jaw harps! The message is clear: I must learn the jaw harp.

ps. erica- "go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog" is written on a scrap of paper tacked to my cork board!! Kindred spirits, we are. Maybe I'll go take a picture of it for all to see.


Keri Smith is a really neat artist and all round creative person with a lovely blog. here is a fabulous list she posted. I am going to endeavor to do at least three of them. It'll sorta be like the time I went catatonic for several hours. or the time I took laxatives and stool stiffeners at the same time. or the time I wore a doctors mask all day. But it won't be like the time I almost killed myself seeing how much water I could drink in 3 hours. that turned out horribly. ok on to her list:

small things you can do to change your perspective
(an ongoing list)
1. Change the height at which you perform everyday tasks. (i.e. brush your teeth while on your knees.)
2. Look under every object you encounter for a week.
3. Wear sunglasses all day (inside and outside). Notice how it feels to take them off.
4. Alter your body somehow so as to impede your motor function slightly. i.e. tie two fingers together.
5. For one day greet everyone you encounter with "top o' the morning to ya!"
6. Speak through a tube, (paper towel tube).
7. Move frequently used items (i.e. salt and pepper shakers) to places they are not normally found.
8. Place something small behind your ear for an entire day. See if you forget about it. (my husband does this)
9. Cut your food into new and interesting shapes. Arrange your dinner (or your table items) into a "grid" formation.
10. Exclude one vowel from all of your email.
11. For one month create all of your correspondence on an outdated form of technology. (i.e. typewriter, pen & paper, dictaphone).
12. Add something to your name. ("the 3rd", "the great", "the illustrious") Alternate: Add some letters to your name but don't tell anyone.
13. Sponsor a contest based on an everyday task. (i.e. "Contest for person whose socks stay up consistently")

OH! I almost forgot!- I went to the cardio salsa class again tonight. One thing I did wrong was not going high. But one thing I did right was requesting we dance to Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine! I loved it so much, I couldn't stop making those stifled laughter snort sounds. I felt like I was in my favorite movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous (have you heard of it).

Let us revisit some of my favorite scenes from drop dead gorgeous (have you heard of it?)

every year, EVERY year I tell them

and a longer clip, if you are so inclined (the gloria estafan dance is about 3minutes in btw):

ok. that's more than enough

-This weekend I spent a night in the suburbs. I came back with a rash.
-I got what might just be the best egg salad sandwich I have ever had from none other than 7-11. only 2.99 too!
-I stupidly agreed to help a friend construct this giant sign... at night.. in an unheated room... while it was somewhere between negative 10-15 degrees C (that's like 10F for our friends down south. right?). I figured he cancel because of the cold. he did not.
-I skipped out early to drink wine with kt.
-I began crafting my top 25 Ween songs. Whata trip.
-ok fine, the rash was more like a patch of extremely dry skin on my hands. despite evidence to the contrary, I will continue to blame the burbs and the uncountable church bazaars I attended whilst there.
-I was misquoted in a campus newspaper and come off really stupid. a picture of me is beside the quote. oy


Six Billion Corners, originally uploaded by frank-c.

ok, so it turns out the blind woman at the gym goes swimming. I guess the dog sits at the edge of the pool? must be hot for him/her. One more gym story and then I'll shut up about it already. Monday night I went a little bit high and decided to do this Cardio Salsa class (yes, I am a person who participates in cardio salsa workout classes. it's time I accept that). Including myself, only 5 people showed up; I was there first and therefore front and centre. The other 4 girls were asian and all dressed in white tshirts and black pants. really. one on either side of me, 2 behind me; completely symmetrical. once that salsa music was blaring and we were salsing and cha-cha-chaing, my high self felt like the star of some fabulous production, complete with my own set of back up dancers. I'd totally do it again next week if I knew I could repeat that set up.
In other news, I am really looking forward to never again hearing my roommate fanatically rant about alien conspiracy theories.

just older

ahh. ontario just passed the stupidest law- it prohibits those under 21 from having any alcohol whatsoever before driving (ok fine) and from having more than one teenage passenger in the car at once. way to stop teenagers from having a designated driver. Some official who helped pass this said that kids should call and cab or their parents if they have had a few drinks. ha! they plan on pressuring other provinces to follow suit.
I'd be even more pissed if I was under 21 and actually had a car.

so neat; better large; likely best in real life. by this guy.
today at work my boss fed me half a shot of Portuguese moonshine. Despite smelling like nail polish remover, I was all zen about it and it went down easy. The nice warm feeling was almost worth the ridiculous amount of rubbing alcohol burps I had over the next few hours. lesson learned: gulping moonshine makes it go down easier, but also means it'll talk back.

i mean it

from this guy

woah now! add a big old pint glass beside that 7-up mixed drink, and these two dudes are both doing spot on impressions of me
v1: who I am while drinking
v2: who I think I am while drinking.

I still haven't decided whether v2's cig is wacky tobaccy or serious tobaccy.
oh yeah! i have another picture with people doing impressions of me! just replace 'drinking' in v1 and v2 with 'trying to look cool'.

while in the gym changeroom, a woman walked by with a seeing eye dog. She seemed to be fairly close to the 'totally blind' end of seeing ability. I wonder what she was going to be doing at the gym? would her dog join her? what if she was swimming? where would the dog go?
dear lord! I was just partaking on one of my favorite activities: maintaining an even burn on my beeswax candle... when suddenly oomph, my hand slipped and I sent a spray of hot wax across the desk, my tshirt, my face and MY EYE. I couldnt open my eye at first because the eyelashes were stuck together. dried wax on my eyeball. splattered across my face. I credit two things for saving me from being scalded/blinded (damn son, is this karma for talking about blind people? I wasn't saying anything bad). anyway I was saved by a) my cat-like, stealthy lightning fast blinking reflexes. so fast they deserve three adjectives. b) The lower burning temperature of beeswax. yet another reason beeswax candles are far superior to the petroleum based crap used about 99% of the time. seriously, beeswax candle people are not kidding around
aw geez it's in my hair too.

from these guys
eeek! after months of not have the proper cord to plug in my electric piano, I was finally able to get my hands on one. I sat down to play a few tunes and suddenly it is 2 and half hours later. rarely do I pay attention to just one thing for that long.

inbox spam

Michelle Obama cheats with McCane.
They could've at least spelled his name right, particularly when claiming to be from Micrsoft


So I went to montreal for the weekend. Guin came up from Ottawa. We stayed at erica's place. Thanks erica! great times in em tee el! The lowlight was when I offhandedly insulted Judism only to discover that hasidic jewish fellow walking beside us on his way to Shabbos. DAMN. The highlight was hanging with my buddies of course. The Baklava was a close second.

from her

I like this collection of election maps. as per usual, NYT has the best infographics in town. another I like is this one by Mark Newman, who went into more detail. helps show the standard pattern of cities=democrat. he also has some good proportionally based maps.

oh, I know it pretty much goes without saying, but what a grand outcome! It is so strange to have anything but negative feelings toward American politics. it feels funny, but I think I like it.

fucking horse girls. they continue to creep me out.
holy fuck. what if I end up have a kid, a girl, and I deny her horse riding lessons (which I will) and as a result she develops a fascination with them. with the forbidden. and then she becomes the ultimate creepy horse girl! oh god!


craigslist rideshare post
best case scenario: dude is going to Ottawa for the sole purpose of offering people a ride so he'll have human contact beyond the 5 strained minutes with the pizza guy and the unnecessary brush-ups against commuters on the subway.


from here

do I really want a job that requires living an an area so remote, the salary includes an 'isolation allowance'
hmm. let's pretend I have the luxury of being picky

I know I've made a good friend when I can bolt in the middle of a great night without having them get worried or insulted. it's a classic chloe move. Alicia is officially one of these friends. also, it turns out we both have an unhealthy obsession with the number 24.

american apparel and LOLcatz (LOLdogz? is there one?)
well Dov, looks like your Am Ap advertising schtick has officially reached its half life.

last week I ended up at a sports bar. They are weird places- tvs on every surface including the floor and at every booth. Definitely more tvs than customers. maybe 3:1. It was one of those night where someone keeps ordering pitchers even though we haven't finished the last one and probably shouldn't either. What can you do at a time like that but pour your heart into singing Rocket Man on the karaoke machine.
That song always reminds me of this 3am bike ride I took a couple of years ago. I was stopped at an almost deserted red light and this heavy duty chopper pulls up next to me blasting Rocket Man. Not only did dude have speakers on his chopper, but he was using them to blast Elton John. I bet he was happy


one less day

ran across this quote on the internets this morning. an aside: let it be known that I wasn't on some self help site or something, there is cheesiness to be had whenever we turn:
“Missing someone gets easier everyday.. because even though it’s one day farther from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will be with them again….”
Dear lord are they saying that the greatest solace of grief is that each day we get closer to death? oy

Let the countdown begin! ten days until halloween!

Turns out I've been at this blog for round about a year now. gee!
In honour of this illustrious occasion, I re-present to you the youtube video that makes life alright:

it really never gets old. which is more than I can say about this blog.

a few things I wish more females did, along with my personal status on them (my record is not great): in a band: I would give up vodka, a month off of my life, and possibly even the ability to burp on command (that's a biggie for me, really) to be able to sing well. pretty much I want to be Janis Joplin minus the drug overdose.
2. skateboard: I gave this a try for a bit, but I could never get over the amount of noise they make and the amount of falls they produced.
3.politics: but not me
4.own a motorcycle: I plan on owning one of these when I have the money. a Triumph ideally. god that'll be awesome.
5.parkour: like this chick.
6.public erections: when is the last time you saw someone get a boner in public? I bet you anything it was a guy
meh. that's enough for now. writing and comedy could also be a part of that list, but actually I can't think of anything interesting or funny to include about them. doye.

In no particular order

carrot cashew loaf. So delicious, I swear even meat eaters love it. though I can't promise you won't miss the real flesh of bird.


Le mum and her bestie are in town. Time for good meals and shopping etc.


So these old Portuguese and Italian ladies who wear all black when they become widows. I wonder if sometimes they are really sad not to be able to wear a favorite article of clothing once their husband kicks it. No more wearing your favorite red cardigan, but you can get it in a black. I wonder if there comes a point, pre-dead husband, where they are about to buy a jaunty floral smock, but stop and think, you know... he is going to drop pretty soon, i'll only get 6 months max out of this smock. So she buys it in black instead, and sneaks it into the closet in a quiet moment between preparing chewless meals and sponging down the husband.

photobooths are so great. this was taken at some point during our grand train trip across the country. Vancouver to Toronto. We were 14, and I definitely thought I was somebody real cool. Lucy was moving to Ottawa with her ma; it was sad to come back west without her...

money woes

Last night at 10pm most of the lights were still on in the big tall bank buildings. it made for a lovely vista, but I can't imagine they were all there having office parties.


This fantastic contraption, called the ‘Routefinder’, showed 1920s drivers in the UK the roads they were travelling down, gave them the mileage covered and told them to stop when they came at journey’s end.
from strange maps

vp debate

wow. not even 5 minutes in, and Palin has mentioned sitting on the sidelines of a kids soccer game.

at least i wasn't hit by a bus today.

family pills

ah, those moments when I know I'm really not so unlike my mother- whenever someone even so much as sniffles, or mentions, 'I think I'm setting si-" I thrust a handful of vitamins at them TAKE THESE VITAMINS and take these ones in a few hours.
vitamins vitamins.growing up, le mother used to give me a little handful of unknown vitamins for me to force down. some of them were those terrible horse pill sized monsters that, if not swallowed properly, would haunt me with terrible vitamin burps for the rest of the day. The little handful was doubled and repeated throughout the day at the slightest indication of impending illness.
'did you take your vitamins?'

double politeness, originally uploaded by superlocal.

NO! the heat is officially on for the first time since the spring. sigh

so these days I find myself around a lot of old portuguese men. as a result, I have decided to start learning some of the basics in portuguese. it really is the perfect language for me- a mash up of spanish and french, which is pretty much what I end up doing when attempting the local language in both mexico and quebec.
anyway I want to practice the accent. I went to youtube and found some video collection with titles like "365 common Portuguese words and phrases'. Many are pleasant little gems like 'the sun is up for everyone (O sol nasceu pra todos), and 'every love is the first one' (todo amor e o primeiro amor. Some err to the more practical day-to-day dealings, such as 'did you lend any money to my brother?' 'her mother was present in most of the meetings' and 'why does she get up so early on the weekends?' 'are you twins?'


Hi, I'm looking for something that adds an inch of bulk to my torso and could be confused for a snot rag when it's not being worn. it'd be especially great if it has noise dampening qualities and looks like it has been soaked in vitamin B urine.

1. what percentage of would-be pilots blast Tom Petty's Learning to Fly at some point during their training?
2. Do toilet paper companies get affected by the recession? people probably don't use fewer squares but maybe manufacturers scale back on 3-ply production, and focus in on 2-ply.
oh one more thing: do I have the correct syntax in that first sentence?

just now
While vigorously dancing I had a near miss knocking over the lamp but I coolly recovered. Then I smashed a vase.
woah there

oh my youth

So Head's visit was fabu, of course. After lots of people time, I decided to spend some quality alone time. Went to Bloor Cinema (cheap 2nd run theatre).. they were showing some movie called Bottle Shock about a Napa Valley wine winning a blind taste test in France and shocking the world. guess it is based on a real event, not sure. I was one of about 20 people in the theatre and the only one below retirement age. the movie was so sappy and terrible and clearly made for people who want to feel nostalgic about their romantic youth in the 70's. It got me all depressed and worried that when I'm in my 60's I'll be happily watching movies that spoon feed me stories about the good old days of the '00's. mmhmn that's how it was, I'll think while loudly sucking at my big box of milk duds, things were good then.
I walked out after 40 minutes, just after the zero ambition son drove off to san fran to make something of himself, while the mexican winery assistant (played by that puerto rican guy from 6 feet under) gave an embarrassingly terrible speech about wine making being in your blood, your heart, your soul, blah blah.


another guest gone. but what good times we had.

busy but good

tomorrow is going to be a good day all round, I can just feel it.


So last night I went to a bar in Kensington for the birthday of a friend of a friend. The place was pretty dead but the music was dece and the birthday group was deep into the drinks by the time we arrived. The party turned out to be outside the bar though, where I spent most of the time. A garbage truck stopped infront of us and suddenly the birthday boy had scaled the thing and was standing on top of this big goddamned garbage truck doing the air guitar and those sort of gesticulations one does when they are feeling particularly rock and roll. The squat garbage man comes up to me/us and commands us to get him down. He used a tone that was pissed off, but clearly not surprised.
Well after a couple woops and hollers from the crowd, we were mostly just telling him to get down, and birthday boy got the point. He wasn't so smooth on the dismount, half knocking off the broom attached to the truck and then falling flat on his back. Im convinced he hit his head too, but a bruised pride seemed to be what he was most concerned about. He jumped up like it was all part of the plan. laughing laughing, light hearted. good times. poor dude probably feels like a sack of hammers this morning.
I'm not good at making my stories short.
heather is in newmarket or some other place that isn't downtown Toronto. Tomorrow tomorrow.

She's in the air right now, and probably having this much fun:

Floater Magazine
but I still like the idea. dedicated to architecture that floats. hmm. if it strikes your fancy, here is the link


added to the too long list of awesome people who have killed themselves:
David Foster Wallace.

make a buck

need to see it big
my favorite on the bad side: I Just Pooped


who said what at the party conventions. Apparently the democrats were bigger on keywords overall, which I find mildly surprising. However, the breakdown of what words were said is not. NYT infographics will never be beat.

ah yes

they sell cards made out of macaroni, faded bottles of perfume whose name involves the phrase "if you liked ____, you'll love ____!", oven mitts, and jeans that accommodate a healthy gunt
The dad store sells golf ball cleaning devices, humour ties, socks, and bbq accessories kits.
For Christmas I once gave my mom potpourri (she hates the stuff) I bought at a rummage sale. used potpourri. I seem to remember dyed wood chips being in the mix.
Another time, I gave my dad the ENTIRE PHILIPPINE CONSTITUTION as a souvenir. oh lord.

So the zen Buddhist temple around the block is having another one of their regular rummage sales. anyone who needs furniture or a bike should head on down. the knick knack selection was sub par this time. Sign in the stairwell:
Watch under your step
Don't waste your life


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