So I'm finally back in the habit of going to the gym regularly. Its great cause at least for now it isn't feeling like a chore, it is nice. I bring a book, listen to music, sweat. I don't even worry about the haters- the fucking snobs who think if you are reading, you must not being working hard enough. And the meatheads in the weight room stopped being intimidating years ago. Then comes my favorite part of all- the steam room. loooove the steam room. my curls go all bushwoman. Then its off to the showers for a good-hurt coconut brush scrubdown that leaves my skin slightly raw, clean and soft. basically, I am at my purest.
So last week I had an awesome work out, while reading the amazing JPod. I was feeling good, vital. all Pump it UP, pump it. then steam, scrub, lotion up. yeah. I am pulling on my pants and notice this black streak on my leg. I yank them back off to find my legs covered in thick black streaks. A fucking pen leaked in my pocket. not just any pocket- the pocket of my new A-game jeans! it was one of those goddamned staples pens I bought a case of. They leaked on me at LEAST 4 times before. My new A-GAME pants! And yeah, a lot of black ink all over my legs. back to the showers.
So now I have to ask myself 4 questions:
-what the fuck was I doing putting one of those time bombs in my pants pocket?
-Am I going to go through with writing staples a letter, like I claimed I would do after the last leaky pen?
-Am I going to continue using the rest of these piece of shit pens? (yes.)
-Can I get away with wearing pants that have two black stains the size of a quarter and a dime on outer crotch area? They ARE gray pants. I know I will continue to wear them, so I guess the question is: can they possibly still be salvaged as my A-gamers?
I wrote all this about a fucking ink stain? oh shit

3 comments:

  1. Heather said...

    if you're trying to attract someone with these pants they may questions the black crotch stains....maybe demote them a little.

    ok, the real reason why i am writing you is b/c i just let out the WORST fart of my life. and no one is here to witness it. this is what i get for eating beans, corn, oatmeal and apple sauce all the time.  

  2. rizabeff said...

    throw the pens out!  

  3. raymi lauren said...

    post a picture of them and the lid please i do not understand how 4 pens can leak like that on one person.  


 

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