bon bons

those free chocolates have been a steady part of my diet since I got them last week. The foil wrapped squares have little messages written inside. They range from the mundanely cheesy to the somewhat bizarre, with a few reasonable ones in between. They are all in the vein of marketing women power.
ps. Im not writing this because dove asked me to. I was just trying to figure out who they are marketing these things to and I figured it out: girls who like the quote: "smile like you mean it, dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt... something something I dont remember". Oh and The Notebook is probably a favorite movie. NO judgment. well a little, but you can judge me for loving Biodome. Hell I even liked Son-in-Law.
ok so here are some of the highlights
The cheesy mundane:
Don't look at the pricetag
Jump on your bed
Meh, the fun is mostly lost when your bed is a mattress on the floor and there is a real chance of hitting your head on the slanted ceilings even without jumping
Buy yourself flowers This I do
the "sassy":
give out the wrong number
A push-up bra is not cheating
Outright telling women to wear push up bras was neatly avoided
entering the realm of bizarre:
Use a good moisturizer Is this what we've come to?
Change the subject
Remember your first
Is this creamy chocolate telling me to think of le devirginization?!
Reasonable:
Ride shotgun though this one seems about 20 years outdated. how about drive yourself?
start a travel fund Can do!
what if they started putting little zingers and witticisms instead.I would like that. they could call them Bon Bon Mots. Holy fuck I am clever.

5 comments:

  1. highwaisted said...

    i think i was handed one of these on the street and i totally threw it out last night. sigh. i didnt even openit.  

  2. Chlo said...

    wait. you threw out a chocolate?
    I. I don't understand.  

  3. raymi lauren said...

    yeah i want to write zingers for candies like MAYBE THIS SHOULD BE YOUR LAST ONE TONITE? or YES YOU ARE CRAY CRAY RIGHT NOW! or GARBAGEBREATH THAT WOULD BE YOU!

    no?  

  4. Byron said...

    i got a jones soda bottle cap months ago that said "you and your partner will be happy in your life together". i kept it and gave it to Byron on valentines day.
    it was cheesy. but the kind of cheese that i like.

    i also thought of sarin when you were doing the "dance like no one is watching" quotes.

    -headre  

  5. Chlo said...

    oh headre thats so sweet. the ood too, I agree.
    oh man, Sarin always forces me to confront what a horse girl and girl who likes those quotes really is. She definitely wouldn't like most of these chocolate quotes.  


 

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