hoo boy

So I am currently wallowing in my own stench, waiting to be sure my awake roommate is done with the washroom for the night. It's really not in my character to be embarrassed about farts, faeces, poop, crap, etc. Actually it's more like the worlds longest running gag- one that I will always always find funny. Increasingly though, I have begun to tone down the poop talk around mixed company, as I don't want to illicit unnecessary feelings of disgust, disdain, nausea, horror, repulsion ... I could go on... as I have in the past. Plus it's a new roomie and the only one I haven't 'talked shop' with. Trivia: Last week another of the roommates (there are 3 in all) declared my name to be The Burpist, as I take burping to an art form. Only took 6 weeks of living here!
Maybe it was the fries from the chip truck (veggie oil, but still), or maybe it was the solid week of drinking, or maybe the unusually large amount of cheese, or the onion tofu curry?. Probably it was a little bit of each. Whatever the cause, the effect has been two days of sporadic (sidebar: clueless forever ruined that word for me), intense pain, and a race to the washroom. You know when you have gas that is bad enough to get those around you genuinely pissed off and frustrated? That was yesterday. Today is worse.
seriously this smell is one for the record books. Im actually worried that it has escaped the cracks of my door and seeped into the roommates room.

I hope not
I cannot stress enough how bad it is.
its fucking obnoxious
i really want to be sure no one will be using the can after I unleash this beast.
haha. its like I'm "live blogging" my gastro-intestinal activities.
I was going to crack open a tallboy, but that probably isnt a good idea.
OK, now that I've gotten that off my chest (there is a Cleavland Steamer joke in there somewhere), I'll try to limit future posts centred on my bowels.

5 comments:

  1. rizabeff said...

    that is really intense  

  2. raymi lauren said...

    oh man you just helped loosen up my bowels  

  3. Chlo said...

    'twas intense, and Im not so sure it is over  

  4. rizabeff said...

    try this:

    shit on monday
    extract wisdom teeth on tuesday
    eat soft blended dairy items until sunday
    take two oxy contin per day for five days
    drink three cups of laxative tea (thursday, friday and saturday)
    take two ex lax saturday afternoon
    go out and order french onion soup sunday night

    shit your weigh in dairy shits for nearly three hours on sunday  

  5. Chlo said...

    that sounds brutal. I'm avoiding cheese to try and make this go away  


 

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