from here
yesterday was my birthday and I turned my favorite number. My imaginary brother was this age for a good 4 years. Better be the best year of my life. OH! and Alicia and Krista BOTH got me a jaw harp! Two jaw harps! The message is clear: I must learn the jaw harp.
ps. erica- "go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog" is written on a scrap of paper tacked to my cork board!! Kindred spirits, we are. Maybe I'll go take a picture of it for all to see.
Keri Smith is a really neat artist and all round creative person with a lovely blog. here is a fabulous list she posted. I am going to endeavor to do at least three of them. It'll sorta be like the time I went catatonic for several hours. or the time I took laxatives and stool stiffeners at the same time. or the time I wore a doctors mask all day. But it won't be like the time I almost killed myself seeing how much water I could drink in 3 hours. that turned out horribly. ok on to her list:
small things you can do to change your perspective
(an ongoing list)
1. Change the height at which you perform everyday tasks. (i.e. brush your teeth while on your knees.)
2. Look under every object you encounter for a week.
3. Wear sunglasses all day (inside and outside). Notice how it feels to take them off.
4. Alter your body somehow so as to impede your motor function slightly. i.e. tie two fingers together.
5. For one day greet everyone you encounter with "top o' the morning to ya!"
6. Speak through a tube, (paper towel tube).
7. Move frequently used items (i.e. salt and pepper shakers) to places they are not normally found.
8. Place something small behind your ear for an entire day. See if you forget about it. (my husband does this)
9. Cut your food into new and interesting shapes. Arrange your dinner (or your table items) into a "grid" formation.
10. Exclude one vowel from all of your email.
11. For one month create all of your correspondence on an outdated form of technology. (i.e. typewriter, pen & paper, dictaphone).
12. Add something to your name. ("the 3rd", "the great", "the illustrious") Alternate: Add some letters to your name but don't tell anyone.
13. Sponsor a contest based on an everyday task. (i.e. "Contest for person whose socks stay up consistently")
OH! I almost forgot!- I went to the cardio salsa class again tonight. One thing I did wrong was not going high. But one thing I did right was requesting we dance to Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine! I loved it so much, I couldn't stop making those stifled laughter snort sounds. I felt like I was in my favorite movie, Drop Dead Gorgeous (have you heard of it).
Let us revisit some of my favorite scenes from drop dead gorgeous (have you heard of it?)
every year, EVERY year I tell them
and a longer clip, if you are so inclined (the gloria estafan dance is about 3minutes in btw):
ok. that's more than enough
-This weekend I spent a night in the suburbs. I came back with a rash.
-I got what might just be the best egg salad sandwich I have ever had from none other than 7-11. only 2.99 too!
-I stupidly agreed to help a friend construct this giant sign... at night.. in an unheated room... while it was somewhere between negative 10-15 degrees C (that's like 10F for our friends down south. right?). I figured he cancel because of the cold. he did not.
-I skipped out early to drink wine with kt.
-I began crafting my top 25 Ween songs. Whata trip.
-ok fine, the rash was more like a patch of extremely dry skin on my hands. despite evidence to the contrary, I will continue to blame the burbs and the uncountable church bazaars I attended whilst there.
-I was misquoted in a campus newspaper and come off really stupid. a picture of me is beside the quote. oy
ok, so it turns out the blind woman at the gym goes swimming. I guess the dog sits at the edge of the pool? must be hot for him/her. One more gym story and then I'll shut up about it already. Monday night I went a little bit high and decided to do this Cardio Salsa class (yes, I am a person who participates in cardio salsa workout classes. it's time I accept that). Including myself, only 5 people showed up; I was there first and therefore front and centre. The other 4 girls were asian and all dressed in white tshirts and black pants. really. one on either side of me, 2 behind me; completely symmetrical. once that salsa music was blaring and we were salsing and cha-cha-chaing, my high self felt like the star of some fabulous production, complete with my own set of back up dancers. I'd totally do it again next week if I knew I could repeat that set up.
In other news, I am really looking forward to never again hearing my roommate fanatically rant about alien conspiracy theories.
ahh. ontario just passed the stupidest law- it prohibits those under 21 from having any alcohol whatsoever before driving (ok fine) and from having more than one teenage passenger in the car at once. way to stop teenagers from having a designated driver. Some official who helped pass this said that kids should call and cab or their parents if they have had a few drinks. ha! they plan on pressuring other provinces to follow suit.
I'd be even more pissed if I was under 21 and actually had a car.
so neat; better large; likely best in real life. by this guy.
today at work my boss fed me half a shot of Portuguese moonshine. Despite smelling like nail polish remover, I was all zen about it and it went down easy. The nice warm feeling was almost worth the ridiculous amount of rubbing alcohol burps I had over the next few hours. lesson learned: gulping moonshine makes it go down easier, but also means it'll talk back.
woah now! add a big old pint glass beside that 7-up mixed drink, and these two dudes are both doing spot on impressions of me
v1: who I am while drinking
v2: who I think I am while drinking.
I still haven't decided whether v2's cig is wacky tobaccy or serious tobaccy.
oh yeah! i have another picture with people doing impressions of me! just replace 'drinking' in v1 and v2 with 'trying to look cool'.
while in the gym changeroom, a woman walked by with a seeing eye dog. She seemed to be fairly close to the 'totally blind' end of seeing ability. I wonder what she was going to be doing at the gym? would her dog join her? what if she was swimming? where would the dog go?
INTERUPTION
dear lord! I was just partaking on one of my favorite activities: maintaining an even burn on my beeswax candle... when suddenly oomph, my hand slipped and I sent a spray of hot wax across the desk, my tshirt, my face and MY EYE. I couldnt open my eye at first because the eyelashes were stuck together. dried wax on my eyeball. splattered across my face. I credit two things for saving me from being scalded/blinded (damn son, is this karma for talking about blind people? I wasn't saying anything bad). anyway I was saved by a) my cat-like, stealthy lightning fast blinking reflexes. so fast they deserve three adjectives. b) The lower burning temperature of beeswax. yet another reason beeswax candles are far superior to the petroleum based crap used about 99% of the time. seriously, beeswax candle people are not kidding around
aw geez it's in my hair too.
from these guys
eeek! after months of not have the proper cord to plug in my electric piano, I was finally able to get my hands on one. I sat down to play a few tunes and suddenly it is 2 and half hours later. rarely do I pay attention to just one thing for that long.
Michelle Obama cheats with McCane.
They could've at least spelled his name right, particularly when claiming to be from Micrsoft
So I went to montreal for the weekend. Guin came up from Ottawa. We stayed at erica's place. Thanks erica! great times in em tee el! The lowlight was when I offhandedly insulted Judism only to discover that hasidic jewish fellow walking beside us on his way to Shabbos. DAMN. The highlight was hanging with my buddies of course. The Baklava was a close second.
I like this collection of election maps. as per usual, NYT has the best infographics in town. another I like is this one by Mark Newman, who went into more detail. helps show the standard pattern of cities=democrat. he also has some good proportionally based maps.
oh, I know it pretty much goes without saying, but what a grand outcome! It is so strange to have anything but negative feelings toward American politics. it feels funny, but I think I like it.
fucking horse girls. they continue to creep me out.
holy fuck. what if I end up have a kid, a girl, and I deny her horse riding lessons (which I will) and as a result she develops a fascination with them. with the forbidden. and then she becomes the ultimate creepy horse girl! oh god!
craigslist rideshare post
best case scenario: dude is going to Ottawa for the sole purpose of offering people a ride so he'll have human contact beyond the 5 strained minutes with the pizza guy and the unnecessary brush-ups against commuters on the subway.