lamenotlame

So I'm dogsitting, and the dog is charming but a little nervous. A medium-large dog. Rufus. Two nights ago: Even though the apartment was super hot, I decided to stay the night with him. good thing. at 1:00am Big-D called me. After talking for a while, Rufus started freaking out, but I thought it was from my talking. nope. massive liquid diarrhea all over the floor.
An excerpt from the email I sent Big-D the next day-

oh lord. So last night after cleaning up the puddle of shit, I took Rufus the dog out for a little walk, in case he needed to do another. he did. It was good that it was 130 am so that the world didnt have to watch my dog liquid shit (I would have just muttered how it isnt my dog, which I did when he peed on someones bike). It was bad that it was 130am because I stupidly went out braless in my slinky sleep tank top. Middle of parkdale at 130 am is not the time to be wearing that unless you are looking to score crack at a discount.
I thought last night was bad. this morning Rufus fucking left a puddle of shit on the carpet! so so so much worse! the sounds it makes coming out of his ass will haunt me forever. I had planned on nutella for breakfast (I kid you not).... but after spreading over my toast, I couldn't bring myself to touch it.

Falling asleep in a haze of shit smell was not fun. There were several more puddles of poo after that, but all outside thank god. So the world did get a chance to watch the dog liquid shit after all. I won't get into the logistics of dealing with that. I've already gone into way too much detail.