lamenotlame

gunna leave this job, leave this town.
gunna go to india with my man.
gunna make sure that panic attack last week was a one off.

I forgot then re-remembered about this site:
my life is average
Besides allowing me to relish in the absurdity of life (one of my favorite pass times after feeding pistachios to children who may or may not have nut allergies).
a couple i like:
Today, as I was logging into my email account, I was to lazy to move the mouse and click the "login" box. I just hit "tab" until I got there. MLIA
Today, I stopped at a stoplight, I looked over at the guy next to me. He was staring back. We both looked away quickly so it didn't seem awkward. It still was. MLIA

The stuff of life.

I'm no outlier, but it reminds me of one of the women in my office. she is unapoligetically average. at first I hated her for it, now I sort of love it. She brings in cakes and bars (and rice chips from costco for the chicks on a cleanse), she is more than happy to help me fill in forms and I bet she is really nice to her dog Dale Earnhardt (seriously).
too many parentheses (I apologize, but do not repent)

it was all awesome
went to a wedding in van with E. she sums it up:
I thought it was funny when the buttoned up dr.’s wife said, “close the curtain. if I see the sun come up, I’m going to want to stop drinking…”

from here

I went to a lovely birthday picnic for my younger much cooler cousin. buncha folks on the cusp of 20. One asked where I worked. I told them (it's a city/government-esque job btw). Then they passed a joint around and I had a puff even though I had taken care of that earlier and the sun & champagne was getting to me. The token punk kid said 'woah I can see the headlines now, "city employee caught getting high in park". It got a laugh. I thought: "I will never be 19 again"

the day before H & B and I visited their friends who are farm sitting an herb farm. I feel this picture does a decent job of capturing my impossible cool

gettin 'er done

E sent me this (from):

we fawned. then:
E: N doesnt really care for them. I think we're decidedly terrier people, however if it was just me I would absolutely go to a wiener dog rescue and give them names like Posieden and Hercularium.
me: haha, in the bizarro universe where we are a lesbian couple, we have two rescue wiener dogs we dote over. I don't like to choose favorites, but Odysseus is my baby
E: really, odyssues sometimes is a little too possessive of his manhood for me. I like Doe better (short for Doethenium)

Transparency: Burning Fuel, originally uploaded by GOOD Magazine.

GOOD Magazine is a good magazine and they have great infographics. and now they have them all in one place to ogle! there is a lot of variety in the material and the presentation, but they definitely maintain a unique style. nyt infographics, look out!
ps I think infographics are only going to get more and more ubiquitous as time goes on. maybe I said that before. I'll say it again too

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

I want to make one! have each clip be a clickable video beside the song selection. OR, or make a video for all my favorite songs, or for a given playlist so it plays as a visualizer. Ok that is a bit too much. I'll stick with the visual jukebox

From McSweeney's:

Respectful Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama is so healthy her BMI is probably exactly within the ideal range for a woman her age.

Yo mama is so well respected within her profession that I bet she'll get another raise and promotion this year despite the downward trajectory of the economy.

Yo mama is so good at cooking she should open her own restaurant. I'd be the first customer.

Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

Yo mama is so Internet-savvy she should start her own social-networking site designed specifically for moms. It would be really popular.

Yo mama is so well read she could teach a course on literature at an accredited university.

Yo mama is so good at listening she makes you feel like she's put everything aside to focus all her attention on you. That's a really great trait to have.

Yo mama is so skilled at coaching basketball she should apply for a job in the WNBA.

Yo mama is so generous she just paid for everyone's meal at Applebee's.

Yo mama is so supportive of you and your efforts that I wouldn't be surprised if you were incredibly successful as a result.

E is here!

me: my farts are noxiousi had to leave from helping out early because my body was so stiff from holding them inI had to pretend i had a bad backHeather: ha. i love ityou should have just walked outside and fartedme: well I couldnt have done that every 10 minutes for two and a half hoursplus i would have had to stand there and let it disconnectprevent the trailHeather: im getting pretty good at that at workme: disconnecting the trail?Heather: i had tofu chilli for lunch and had to fart a lot todayme: yeah cabbage soup was my culpritHeather: yea i walk to an area with no people, act busy and then slowly walk back to my areame: i blamed their dogquietly as if i was trying to be subtle about being offendedps. i laughed out loud at your techniqueHeather: good. i laugh as im doing it

Elizabeth: hawell, arent you pioushttp://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/zip/1159957474.html

so the past little while has been a complete heather-byron fest. friday and saturday hangouts. We played earth hour scrabble on saturday. Byron said we couldn't open the fridge because the light would turn on, but I wasn't willing to wait half an hour for a fresh beer so he held the little light lever down while I grabbed the brews. Sunday there was finally a break from a flat grey sky, so Byron and I sat in the inner harbour sketching. street benches: not just for retired folk and the homeless! Just as we sat down a biker went flying off of his bike right in front of us. It totally ruined the story Byron was in the middle of telling.
knowing my loving of office organization products they showed up on saturday with this awesome gift for me:

The picture doesn't quite do it justice but it is fake wood grain tin. love it! And it still had the original files in it! I just love classic 50s-60s fonts. The ink on my thumb is from yet another leaky pen.

and yesterday they stopped by with the most amazing bouquet of flowers (dad dead for 4 years as of yesterday)

I just love flowers

Then we ate perogies and watched the Dumb and Dumber dvd (6 minutes of deleted scenes, oh my!). just lovely

New font game to play! Deep Font Challenge
possibly even more fun than this font game
unrelated: there was a letter to the editor in the local paper from a woman who said that life is too dull and sad these days and during times of death, or birth or marriage etc... instead of donating money to charities we should go back to the classic tradition of giving flowers, so that we may have a brighter day in these tough times. That she felt strongly enough to write a letter to the editor is what really got me.
Well i do say! two references to the newspaper in a week. Its almost as if printed media is still relevant or something! kidding. but seriously, how much front page coverage on the national curling championships do we really need.
oh the curling championships. They went on for ages! it was held in Victoria. Again. You'd think thousands of retirees- gaggles of permed women, matching couples- would make a real impact on the town, but actually things pretty much looked the same.

Journalist: In a lot of your songs you are hard on people—in "Like a Rolling Stone" you're hard on the girl and in "Positively 4th Street" you're hard on a friend.
Do you do this because you want to change their lives, or do you want to point out to them the error of their ways?

Bob Dylan: I want to needle them.

I jammed one of my knuckles.

while testing said risotto,
I dislocated my jaw.
I thought I was being clever by cooking a meal where chewing is optional.
meanwhile, look who is still being awesome:

In these tough economic times, it's good to see that he opted for a beaded bracelet instead of a second gold watch. As for his sidekick, I'm trying to figure out if that is coke bloat or baby fat.
footnote: I wish to extend my deepest gratitude to the nanny named Fran for that timeless segue*
*("meanwhile")

This is Buddy Holly. I love him, and often wonder what the fate of modern music would be if he had lived longer.

jesus, was there a single non-lame person pre-1990 that didn't smoke?
OH YEAH!