lamenotlame

Did another focus group. this time it was an hour of rating ads for yeast infection treatment. For 60$, it's not so bad. The only thing is that I always come out of those things feeling sick to my stomach. I once had a job doing market research- calling people and doing surveys, mostly on tires.The job didn't give me that sick feeling, but i think the difference is that with the job, I could pretend I was separate/above all that crap, that I knew their tricks and I wasn't a part of it. well, maybe I know the tricks, but fuck if I'm not a part of it. They are marketing to me. They want me to form loyalties. I do. oh shit, it is all disgusting and then I get on the subway at rush hour and we are going here or there, to or from work all looking miserable. Next it's to the store to spend the money on the brands that "meet my needs" that are "supportive", "approachable" and "really understand me".
To make matters worse, I bought a cinnabon at the subway station. I can't remember the last time i had one of those. What was I thinking; talk about depression in a box. The cinnamon smell caught me, it was dinnertime. Now it is half eaten, stinking up my room. Like the rest, the smell was full of promise but it was sickly sweet, dense yet devoid and has left a bitter taste in my mouth. the packaging reminds me of shitty mall food courts, redish lighting from heat lamps, the smell of at least a dozen forms of grease.
angsty? yes