It's not getting better, no it's not getting better, man It's just getting old
2 comments Posted by Chlo at 5:49 PMSo I'm working on this forestry economics assignment. determining optimal rotation age based on stumpage value, growth rates, blah blah. Basically, complicated looking equations are used and extrapolated in an excel spreadsheet. I understood the first equations we were doing, mostly because I had my library friend the finance major helping me. Maths can be sort of gratifying when you punch in numbers (on a calc. borrowed from said friend) and they come out right, and tick tick tick everything has its place and you are done. Well, obviously this part isn't quite working out. I found myself sitting in the library after hours of trying and failing. I started getting all hot and flustered, having these deep seeded feelings of utter ineptitude, the origins of which are high school math. If I cant do this, I am a failure as a person and I will go nowhere. Fucking high school math. Just as I was feeling like I might just run home with hot tears down my face, I remembered that I stopped believing that at about age 16 (drivers license time, likely not a coincidence). Still, most things are potentially understandable to me if I just put in enough time. Not so with math. It is like a cruel joke everyone agreed to play on me.
Because HOW ELSE can 0x0=17.3!?!?!?
I could be eating half price nachos at Sneaks! ok no, I needed a night in. sick sick like blah. That probably contributed to all of this.
oh god. so I am one of those fast walkers. I love making friends with other fastwalkers because then when we hang out, I don't have to constantly make mental notes to slow my pace. As a fast walker I have also perfected the art of passing. So I was walking home today and rapidly coming up behind this guy. A few metres away he slightly turns his head, and I realize it is this guy! shit, well I don't want to have to pass him! I have successfully avoided contact with him since 'the incident'. So I suddenly slow my pace, but he is walking much slower than I, and he keeps sort of turning his head so it becomes clear that he is expecting someone to be passing him. The slower pace didnt work either, because he clearly heard someone quickly walking up behind them and then suddenly slow about 3 metres away, plus I was still walking faster than him. Hang outs with him would be a pain. I couldnt break out into fast walk again, so I just hovered behind him for a bit until I passed him, at which point I pretended to just notice it was in fact him. I learned my lesson. quick hey and medium pace away. geez.
So I saw Dan Deacon last night with raymi. The first thing he said to the crowd was something like "magical mushrooms are good for everyone. But I'm not on them." It became pretty clear that he was. He started bad vibing and insulting the scene, and then he started getting the audience to make these really irritating sounds, it was quite odd. But props to him for making a look out of dirty, fat and sweaty.
I got stupid drunk at karaoke afterwards. the kind of drunk where I was weaving on and off the sidewalk on the way home and this morning I woke up half dressed. The pants managed to come off, but I broke the goddamned zipper! My A-game replacements!
I thought I was too old for acne. adult acne sucks more than the teenager kind
Also- whats with this horse theme of mine? actually I've always sort of hated horses, but they are really the innocent victims of my deep mistrust/uncomfortable feelings toward horse girls. The pre/peri-pubesent girls who ride (sorry S) and their horses are these symbolic and literal sexual objects, big, hard throbbing muscles upon which they straddle, squeeze their thighs to hold on. And paradoxically, other than S, I associate it with this prissiness. Subversively sexual prissiness.
Like, who is that girl in the picture going to grow up to be? I'll bet she'll like Daddy sex talk and big fucking dildos (in my mind, all horse girls like big dildos )
well it was another wild and crazy weekend for the ever awesome and in demand cbt. Friday was free beers at the bar after the beer tap sprayed on me and I acted all exasperated yet stoic (is that possible?), insisted on a napkin etc etc. Last night was a first- I literally danced all night. To house music at that! Went with D and some of his friends. Drank lots of water. pupils dilated. I had a great time. At about 6am I went to the washroom and this 34 year old woman was talking to some chicks she didnt know about how she has a 12 year old daughter and "actually kids are a lot of work, but my mom has my daughter now. And are you coming to the comfort zone (a club that pretty much gets started at 6or7 am), oh no you are the designated driver, hey I learned to drive stick while I was on e, my friend even 'G'ed out in the back seat. And isnt this so much fun, PARTY!
That is when I decided it was time to go home.
